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2025 Flyer
August 2025 Flyer sent out regarding concerns about DA Cruden prosecuting sexual assaults. This flyer includes details of Melissa Nicholson’s (AKA Survivor X’s) case.
Why Survivor X’s story matters:
Across the country victims of sexual violence are told that they “have no case” or “there isn’t enough evidence to prosecute” when that is not true. They are often blamed and shamed by prosecutors and police. Told no one will believe them because they:
• Showered and destroyed the evidence• Were drinking• Waited too long to report• Were ok with the encounter at first or were flirting with the perpetrator
Prosecutors don’t even have to “count” these as reports of sexual assault. Prosecutors can refuse to take a sex crimes case for any reason, including personal bias and personal gain. The only way to hold prosecutors accountable is to share the story publicly and rally public support for the victim.
Victims are often lied to by police and prosecutors and told that the law does not support prosecution, when that is most often not the case. Best practice dictates prosecuting the overwhelming majority of these cases and survivors are not aware of this. They believe what they are told and go away feeling like there is nothing else that can be done. Survivor X was a victim of sexual and domestic violence. When she got away from her abuser and reported her assault to the police, they told her incorrectly that she had to say “no” in order for them to prosecute. Even though she was held down from behind during the assault and her face was shoved into a mattress, the police continued to insist that they could not do anything unless she said “no”.
Years later, when she got involved with an organization to support other survivors, she started to research the laws in North Carolina and found that what she was told was incorrect. In fact, she found that the laws in North Carolina specifically support prosecution in her case specifically because she had evidence that she qualified for one of the special factors in the statute that protects individuals with diagnosed mental health conditions that cause them to not be able to resist or “say no”. Since there is no statute of limitations on felony sex crimes, she reached out to the police and DA Cruden with this information.
Years later, when she got involved with an organization to support other survivors, she started to research the laws in North Carolina and found that what she was told was incorrect. In fact, she found that the laws in North Carolina specifically support prosecution in her case specifically because she had evidence that she qualified for one of the special factors in the statute that protects individuals with diagnosed mental health conditions that cause them to not be able to resist or “say no”. Since there is no statute of limitations on felony sex crimes, she reached out to the police and DA Cruden with this information.
However, when she contacted the police and DA Cruden, he refused to look at the evidence, refused to talk to her witnesses and refused to even interview the perpetrator. Stating that there was “not enough evidence”, which is ironic since he refuses to actually look at the evidence before making the decision that he does not want to prosecute the case.
This happens all the time. Victims' cases are dismissed without the police or DA’s even looking at the evidence. They utilize rape myth mentality to determine that they don’t want to take on the case and lie to the victim telling them they “can’t do anything” when the truth is that they wont do anything to protect them or the community against these sexual predators.
The US Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women produced a framework for prosecutors last May that details best practice for prosecuting adult sexual assault. They openly acknowledge that this is an issue, that “meritorious allegations are too often declined for prosecution.” Yet nothing is being done to hold prosecutors accountable to actually utilize this best practice.
The US Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women produced a framework for prosecutors last May that details best practice for prosecuting adult sexual assault. They openly acknowledge that this is an issue, that “meritorious allegations are too often declined for prosecution.” Yet nothing is being done to hold prosecutors accountable to actually utilize this best practice.
The DOJ framework supports prosecuting Survivor X’s case (as well as many other reports of sexual assault). #SupportSurvivorX
Below are helpful links:
North Carolina Sexual Assault Statues:
DOJ Framework for Prosecuting Adult Sexual Assault:
Model Policy for Prosecutors:
Article About Florida Teen Victim Treated Like a Suspect:
Netflix: “Unbelievable” series. Based on true story about rape victim’s experience:
*Next for you to read is from the NC General Statues of sex offenses:
NC General Statutes – Chapter 14 Article 7B 1 Article 7B.Rape and Other Sex Offenses.§ 14 27.20. Definitions.
The following definitions apply in this Article: (1) Repealed by Session Laws 2018 47, s. 4(a), effective December 1, 2018. (1a) Against the will of the other person. – Either of the following: a. Without consent of the other person. b. After consent is revoked by the other person, in a manner that would cause a reasonable person to believe consent is revoked. (2) Mentally incapacitated. – A victim who due to any act is rendered substantially incapable of either appraising the nature of his or her conduct, or resisting the act of vaginal intercourse or a sexual act.
(2a) Person who has a mental disability. – A victim who has an intellectual disability or a mental
disorder that temporarily or permanently renders the victim substantially incapable of appraising the nature of his or her conduct, or of resisting the act of vaginal intercourse or a sexual act, or of communicating unwillingness to submit to the act of vaginal intercourse or a sexual act.
(3) Physically helpless. – Any of the following: a. A victim who is unconscious. b. A victim who is physically unable to resist an act of vaginal intercourse or a sexual act or
communicate unwillingness to submit to an act of vaginal intercourse or a sexual act. (4) Sexual act. – Cunnilingus, fellatio, analingus, or anal intercourse, but does not include vaginal
intercourse. Sexual act also means the penetration, however slight, by any object into the genital or
anal opening of another person's body. It is an affirmative defense that the penetration was for
accepted medical purposes. (5) Sexual contact. – Any of the following: a. Touching the sexual organ, anus, breast, groin, or buttocks of any person. b. A person touching another person with their own sexual organ, anus, breast, groin, or buttocks. c. A person ejaculating, emitting, or placing semen, urine, or feces upon any part of another
person. (6) Touching. – As used in subdivision (5) of this section, means physical contact with another person, whether accomplished directly, through the clothing of the person committing the offense, or through the clothing of the victim. (1979, c. 682, s. 1; 2002 159, s. 2(a); 2003 252, s. 1; 2006 247, s. 12(a); 2015 181, s. 2; 2018 47, s. 4(a); 2019 245, ss. 5(a), 6(c).)
§ 14 27.27. Second degree forcible sexual offense.
(a) A person is guilty of second degree forcible sexual offense if the person engages in a sexual act with another person:
(1) By force and against the will of the other person; or
(2) Who has a mental disability or who is mentally incapacitated or physically helpless, and the person performing the act knows or should reasonably know that the other person has a mental disability or is mentally incapacitated or physically helpless.
b) Any person who commits the offense defined in this section is guilty of a Class C felony. (1979, c. 682, s. 1; 1979, 2nd Sess., c. 1316, s. 7; 1981, c. 63; c. 179, s. 14; 1993, c. 539, s. 1131; 1994, Ex. Sess., c. 24, s. 14(c); 2002 159, s. 2(c); 2015 181, ss. 9(a), (b); 2018 47, s. 4(c).)
*Next for you to read is the actual communication with the detective that survivor X had. Showing how DA Jeff Cruden refuses to look at evidence before deciding not to pursue adult sexual assaults:
Donnie Varnell From:donnie.varnell@darenc.govTo:Melissa NicholsonTue, May 6, 2025 at 4:49 PM
Ma'am
I have met with and spoken with the district attorney a couple of times about your case. I'd like to add that Mr. Cruden is a staunch supporter of sexual assault victs and has a long history of working those cases. That being said, the DA believes that there are reasons that the case does not reach the level of probable cause that would have a chance to be prosecuted. The DA also feels that the state would definitely not have the ability to have any success in court with the allegations. He had declined to prosecute the case at this. Mr. Cruden added that he is sympathetic to your situation and wished he could do more. I am sorry that we did not have the evidence necessary to move forward with the case.
Ma'am
I have met with and spoken with the district attorney a couple of times about your case. I'd like to add that Mr. Cruden is a staunch supporter of sexual assault victs and has a long history of working those cases. That being said, the DA believes that there are reasons that the case does not reach the level of probable cause that would have a chance to be prosecuted. The DA also feels that the state would definitely not have the ability to have any success in court with the allegations. He had declined to prosecute the case at this. Mr. Cruden added that he is sympathetic to your situation and wished he could do more. I am sorry that we did not have the evidence necessary to move forward with the case.
On Tue, May 6, 2025 at 7:18 AM Melissa Nicholson <XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX > wrote:Hello,Just following up again. I still have not heard back from the DA about my case. There is more to this case than I was able to share in 2021. I was still pretty traumatized then and was not able to look at the law or really think much about the details. But he also knew that I had mental health diagnosis that caused me to freeze during sexual encounters and not be able to say no or resist. This was why we moved into separate bedrooms in 2018, 2 years before this assault. The fact he knew this is well documented. I would really like the opportunity to discuss my case with the DA. I have finally healed enough to be able to talk about the abuse and looking at the statues, my case seems to meet the qualifications of the law. I work during the day in a school with no cell reception so the best way to contact me is by email. Then we could set up a time to talk. My voicemail does not work well in the building and I don't seem to get all my voicemails. Thanks for your help.Kindly,Melissa Nicholson
On Mar 2, 2025, 5:50 PM -0500, Donnie Varnell <donnie.varnell@darenc.gov>, wrote:
I will forward this to the district attorney.
I will forward this to the district attorney.
On Thu, Feb 27, 2025 at 3:50 PM Melissa Nicholson <XXXXXXXXXXXXXX > wrote:Detective,
I reported my sexual assault to you in January of 2021 but was told that since I did not say "no" during the assault, that the DA was not able to prosecute. I have since become active in Virginia where I reside with the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance and have been able to make connections with the ACLU and other organizations that support women's rights. In working with these organizations, I began researching current Virginia statues and case law. I found that not all prosecutors are aware of the applicable case law regarding sexual assaults. I am working to help advocate for legislative changes in Virginia to help change or clarify the sexual assault laws and work to help prosecutors and victims be more aware of the most current statues and case law regarding sexual assaults in hopes of increasing the statistics of sexual assault cases that are prosecuted.
All of this got me to start researching the North Carolina Statues and case law with regard to my own sexual assault in North Carolina. I have communicated with UNC Law library and and UNC Law professors to help me research the case law regarding my case. I have not been able to find any North Carolina case law that says that a victim is required to say "no" when forced into non-consensual sex acts which made me want to come back to you to have my case re-evaluated.
He forced the act on me violently and admitted to knowing that he did it against my will.
I was sexually assaulted by my husband in June of 2020 on vacation in NC while camping at Camp Hatteras. I didn't feel safe reporting until I was able to move out and get away from him and his abuse. I was told at the time that the DA couldn't more forward because I didn't say "no", however, he was holding me down from behind, forcing my face into the mattress and not letting me up when it happened. I Never consented to anal sex. There was no way for me to talk or say no. It all happened so fast. And he admitted afterwards to knowing that he did it without my consent. He forced me to have anal sex with him.
The mattress that he was holding my head down on had a 3-4 inch soft foam mattress pad on it so it was like having my face pushed into a pillow. It was hard enough to breathe and I was not able to yell or say no to his assault. He never once asked me if I was ok with anal sex and never told me what he was about to do when he suddenly entered me anally. I was not in a position where I could pull away from him since my body was pushed up against the bed and I could not resist his attack while he held me down from behind.
With regards to how anal sex was handled during the course of our marriage:I only rarely would agree to anal sex with him, maybe on his birthday or on vacation if I was feeling in the mood. During the good years of our marriage, he would always bring lubrication with us on vacation just in case I felt generous and he "got lucky" and I agreed to anal sex. It had been so long since we had anal sex that he did not even remember to bring lubrication on vacation this summer. When I look back at what was going on in our marriage, it had been years since we last had anal sex. In fact, there was a period not long before this assault, where we did not have any sexual contact for 6 months.
The rare times in our marriage that we had anal sex, there were very specific rules. First and foremost, was that we always talked about it and I had to agree to it in advance. There were many other rules, like the use of lubrication, and he was not allowed to cum inside of me because the first time we tried anal sex, he did cum inside me and I had stomach cramps and diarrhea afterwards. I would only agree to let him do it again if I was in the mood AND he agreed to my rules. I have only one kidney and am prone to UTI's and a kidney infection puts me in the hospital. This is another big reason for the strict rules regarding anal sex, since it could result in me getting a serious infection. Which is why he was not allowed to got back to vaginal sex after we started with anal sex, due to the risk of bacteria entering the urethra. Another rule was that I always got to choose the position that we did it in. I always chose a position where I could pull myself away from him if he was entering me too quickly and it was uncomfortable. He was always more than willing to go along with my rules because it was the only way that I would agree to having anal sex with him. He had never broken these rules or hurt me before during anal sex. I never once bled as a result of anal sex before and he had always been extremely gentle. If he had not been gentle, then I wouldn't have agreed to letting him have anal sex with me again. Studies show that marital rape and sexual assault if more likely just prior to the couple separating.
After the assault, he admitted to me that he knowingly took advantage of me while I was drinking and broke my rules in order to have anal sex with me. He was gloating and appeared to enjoy just talking about how he had violated me.His behavior and comments after the assault to others also indicate that he was trying to cover up for his assault.
Although I had initially been ok with him initiating vaginal sex with me, I never indicated to him that I was ok with anal sex prior to OR during the encounter. I feel that any rational person can understand that agreeing to vaginal sex is not also an agreement to anal sex. The consistent standard of practice in our marital sex life indicated that he would need to discuss and get verbal consent from me prior to any act of anal sex. He willingly and deliberately violated that standard of practice for his own sexual gratification with complete disregard for my safety or wellbeing. I was physically injured during the assault.
I noticed that here has been some updates to the North Carolina case law that impacts sexual assault cases since the time I reported my assault.
Now that I have healed from the abuse and am in a better place, I would like the opportunity to discuss my case with the district attorney because I feel it has legal merit and he will continue to abuse other women if his crimes are not addressed.
I look forward to hearing from you.Sincerely ,Melissa Nicholson
I reported my sexual assault to you in January of 2021 but was told that since I did not say "no" during the assault, that the DA was not able to prosecute. I have since become active in Virginia where I reside with the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance and have been able to make connections with the ACLU and other organizations that support women's rights. In working with these organizations, I began researching current Virginia statues and case law. I found that not all prosecutors are aware of the applicable case law regarding sexual assaults. I am working to help advocate for legislative changes in Virginia to help change or clarify the sexual assault laws and work to help prosecutors and victims be more aware of the most current statues and case law regarding sexual assaults in hopes of increasing the statistics of sexual assault cases that are prosecuted.
All of this got me to start researching the North Carolina Statues and case law with regard to my own sexual assault in North Carolina. I have communicated with UNC Law library and and UNC Law professors to help me research the case law regarding my case. I have not been able to find any North Carolina case law that says that a victim is required to say "no" when forced into non-consensual sex acts which made me want to come back to you to have my case re-evaluated.
He forced the act on me violently and admitted to knowing that he did it against my will.
I was sexually assaulted by my husband in June of 2020 on vacation in NC while camping at Camp Hatteras. I didn't feel safe reporting until I was able to move out and get away from him and his abuse. I was told at the time that the DA couldn't more forward because I didn't say "no", however, he was holding me down from behind, forcing my face into the mattress and not letting me up when it happened. I Never consented to anal sex. There was no way for me to talk or say no. It all happened so fast. And he admitted afterwards to knowing that he did it without my consent. He forced me to have anal sex with him.
The mattress that he was holding my head down on had a 3-4 inch soft foam mattress pad on it so it was like having my face pushed into a pillow. It was hard enough to breathe and I was not able to yell or say no to his assault. He never once asked me if I was ok with anal sex and never told me what he was about to do when he suddenly entered me anally. I was not in a position where I could pull away from him since my body was pushed up against the bed and I could not resist his attack while he held me down from behind.
With regards to how anal sex was handled during the course of our marriage:I only rarely would agree to anal sex with him, maybe on his birthday or on vacation if I was feeling in the mood. During the good years of our marriage, he would always bring lubrication with us on vacation just in case I felt generous and he "got lucky" and I agreed to anal sex. It had been so long since we had anal sex that he did not even remember to bring lubrication on vacation this summer. When I look back at what was going on in our marriage, it had been years since we last had anal sex. In fact, there was a period not long before this assault, where we did not have any sexual contact for 6 months.
The rare times in our marriage that we had anal sex, there were very specific rules. First and foremost, was that we always talked about it and I had to agree to it in advance. There were many other rules, like the use of lubrication, and he was not allowed to cum inside of me because the first time we tried anal sex, he did cum inside me and I had stomach cramps and diarrhea afterwards. I would only agree to let him do it again if I was in the mood AND he agreed to my rules. I have only one kidney and am prone to UTI's and a kidney infection puts me in the hospital. This is another big reason for the strict rules regarding anal sex, since it could result in me getting a serious infection. Which is why he was not allowed to got back to vaginal sex after we started with anal sex, due to the risk of bacteria entering the urethra. Another rule was that I always got to choose the position that we did it in. I always chose a position where I could pull myself away from him if he was entering me too quickly and it was uncomfortable. He was always more than willing to go along with my rules because it was the only way that I would agree to having anal sex with him. He had never broken these rules or hurt me before during anal sex. I never once bled as a result of anal sex before and he had always been extremely gentle. If he had not been gentle, then I wouldn't have agreed to letting him have anal sex with me again. Studies show that marital rape and sexual assault if more likely just prior to the couple separating.
After the assault, he admitted to me that he knowingly took advantage of me while I was drinking and broke my rules in order to have anal sex with me. He was gloating and appeared to enjoy just talking about how he had violated me.His behavior and comments after the assault to others also indicate that he was trying to cover up for his assault.
Although I had initially been ok with him initiating vaginal sex with me, I never indicated to him that I was ok with anal sex prior to OR during the encounter. I feel that any rational person can understand that agreeing to vaginal sex is not also an agreement to anal sex. The consistent standard of practice in our marital sex life indicated that he would need to discuss and get verbal consent from me prior to any act of anal sex. He willingly and deliberately violated that standard of practice for his own sexual gratification with complete disregard for my safety or wellbeing. I was physically injured during the assault.
I noticed that here has been some updates to the North Carolina case law that impacts sexual assault cases since the time I reported my assault.
Now that I have healed from the abuse and am in a better place, I would like the opportunity to discuss my case with the district attorney because I feel it has legal merit and he will continue to abuse other women if his crimes are not addressed.
I look forward to hearing from you.Sincerely ,Melissa Nicholson
